TikTok and depression!
Hello to my beautiful readers!
I genuinely hope that you are doing great and if not, I wish that you feel better as soon as a blink!
Remember in my last posts I was talking about my depression and how it's grounding me so heavily?
Well, I'm still depressed but now I kinda found a way to deal with it! TikTok!
Crazy, right? who would have thought that I, saina, would install that shitty app that teenagers keep mocking other people in it? at least that's what I was thinking about TikTok, but it wasn't like that. I think I installed it back in September just to see what it is and posted a short video of my childhood photos and recent photos of me like a slideshow. It obviously didn't get a lot of attention, but I let that be. I didn't post anything with my Tiktok, until a few weeks later when I posted a stupid video of mine brushing my hair and the static electricity would make my hair fly. A couple of hours later I had 300 views! wait, what?? Bruh, who in the world would watch that video of mine? and how they were able to see it?
So a few days later I posted another video, it got 600 views! Ok, at this point I became very interested in TikTok, I was getting views without even doing something special. so I started posting every once in a while. I was posting random videos of me doing things, cz I had no purpose of gaining attention, just wanted to give it a try.
I posted cooking videos, cleaning videos, funny ones and then one day I decided that, what the hell, why wouldn't I get famous? Lol, I mean with TikTok you won't get Taylor swift famous, but I always hated being famous, cz I was a private person. But then I told myself, what's the point of sitting there and not being seen? what's the point of having talents and not using them? and you should know my point behind making TikTok isn't to get famous, I just enjoy the attention I get on my videos!
So I kept going and posted videos after videos, until December 31st, hours before the new year, I posted my famous "sauna in Estonia" video, and went out for the fireworks. we celebrated the new year with some friends and went to sit in a cafe. I randomly checked my TikTok and suddenly realized that I received thousands of views in a matter of hours! Long story short, I went viral, well, not viral viral, but I got like 40k views and so many likes and comments, great start for a new year right?:)
After that, I had two more videos going even more viral with 100 and 145k views, respectively.
So now this is my new favorite hobby. Now how this is related to my depression?
Well, the whole reason behind my depression is overthinking. I am a big overthinker and honestly, if you are one, you know that it is almost impossible to not overthink! so I found a shortcut, diversion!
I realized that my mind is super active and tends to think even if I try so hard to do otherwise, so, instead of fighting back, I gave it a direction to overthink that way. I wouldn't say I am 100% better but at least I can use this trait to my benefit.
Recently, I had some of my blog viewers come and tell me they also struggle with lots of problems mentally and if you have read my posts, you know that I have struggled and am struggling with lots of childhood trauma and traumas assholes like my boss created for me. But you know, we are all here to help each other, you help me feel better by reading my blogs here, and I wanna help you in return to deal with your overthinking problem, trust me we're all in this together, I mean we overthinkers.
So, I would suggest you find a healthy habit, something that can keep you occupied like Tiktok. Actually, I think TikTok is the easiest option for you, cz it's so easy and accessible. It's not like going to therapy and paying 200 bucks a session for someone to tell you "you gonna be okay!". Well, I'm not going to if I pay that much lol. Also, I believe that if someone can help you the best, it's not a therapist that got to know you only a few months ago, but a person that has known you your entire life, yourself!
Okay, let's clear some things up here. Therapy, in general, is not a bad thing. Sometimes you need a third person that doesn't know you, to tell you you're going to be okay, or you need them to give you some methods to deal with the new changes or traumas in your life. But eventually, the cure is in YOUR hands.
I had to learn it the hard way, trusting people that I shouldn't, with my secrets and issues and them stabbing me in the back, or paying lots of money to other people just to realize they didn't know better. But I'm teaching you this for free, your healing key is in your own pocket. people can help you find it or lighten up the room for you to see it yourself, but eventually, you are the only one that can take it out and use it. I'm not preaching anybody here, I'm simply telling you that if you wanna sit there and cry for help, help doesn't fall into your arms; you gotta do something for it. And trust me, when you feel better about yourself, you'll start attracting other people's attention to you. it's basically like a mountain, you struggle to go up and it takes so much effort to get to the top, but then it's all sliding until another mountain comes up in a million years later.
So as I said 10000000 times before, bring a piece of paper and a pen, write whatever you like to do, and literally start doing it!!! how many more exclamation marks should I put for you to start doing it? :))
I'll post more about Tiktok and how you can get good views later. So subscribe for being notified of future posts. looking forward to hearing you found a new distraction hobby.
No excuse is accepted, respectfully, Saina.;)