Life's gotten way too difficult

I promised myself not to write any complaining posts a few months back, I wanted to stay positive and push through all the difficulties, but sadly life has always other plans.

Hi I'm Saina and you're reading Sainaslife.

Well, Sainaslife was initially about me and my life, bitter or sweet, and I guess this also counts as a part of my life. I promised to be honest on my blog and document my journey to 10 million in real time, and I guess this is also a part of that journey. The past year hasn't been so kind to me. As I mentioned in previous posts, we had big plans, and they didn't go through. I will explain about it later when I am ready to talk about it. Aside from our failed plan, I suddenly decided to get a driving license, and the reason why, after 7 years of living here, I decided I wanted to get it this year was due to a couple of reasons. Firstly, we weren't able to afford a driving course or a car before, so there were financial extremities, and secondly, I needed to have an escape. The reason for escape? I have bad neighbors, and life has been hell in the last few months. Unfortunately, no method of communication has worked out, and we're stuck with an ignorant one who loves to play loud music (but not loud enough to call the police on him) all day and night long. When he's home, the music is on, and the worst part is that we don't hear any music; we just hear straight bass sound, all day, all night. It's like having your phone on vibration mode all day long, or a car standing outside your door with its engine on the whole time. Sometimes he even increases the volume and the bass even more, and that has just become unbearable. We did everything we could, and yet he doesn't seem to have a care in the world. So the next viable option was to move, but not just any move; we needed to move into a house to be sure we don't encounter any similar situation. And again, you might say the probability is low, but based on experience, 4 out of 5 apartments we lived in had inconsiderate neighbors, so I'd say it's quite a trend here. We didn't want to risk the devil we know with the devil we don't, so we were strictly looking for only detached houses. But luck seems to run away when it sees us. We have been looking for over 4 months, and we didn't find one house. Although we found out that the owners/brokers are extremely greedy, and they would lie to you to sell you what they've got. The prices are crazy, the houses are old and mostly not renovated, and with random furniture, and then you look at the price and can't even bring yourself to consider it.

So we've been robbed of our peace at home, and we also had that failed plan thing I mentioned above. So I decided I need to at least get a driving license to be able to run away from home and into the wilderness perhaps. And that's where I was wrong. I signed up for the worst class possible. I think even by the standards I've seen in a few years, this is still below standard. They were unprofessional, disorganized, and non-communicative. I was left fending for myself, gathering info about classes here and there from other students. The study material was a joke, a load of unnecessary info plus some misogynistic stuff about how women are too emotional when driving! Five months of this nonsense, and I am at my wit's end. I was already extremely burnt out from the 30 job application rejections I had, and now I had to go through something so unprofessional and chaotic.

That's why I've been away for so long, and during this time, I didn't have enough energy to move a finger, let alone go through with my "getting rich" plan. Between my nervous system being on fire and the pressure of dealing with a disorganized institute, I have been crushed like a walnut under a car tire. I couldn't get myself to work on my blog or improve my skills. I will eventually start to build up my plan, but it is going to be slow.

I decided that I want to be more honest than usual, and here it is. I hope this post finds its way to the right people who would understand and sympathise.

As always, I will see you on the next post!

With love,

Saina.