ADHD(EBAV) and adaptive measures

If you're unfamiliar with EBAV, I suggest reading my earlier post titled "I Don't Have a Condition, I Have a Variation: ADHD and Evolution" before starting here.

Hi, I’m Saina and you’re reading Sainaslife.

Few days ago, I had a revelation of sorts. I realized that what I have is actually not a condition or disorder, but an evolutionary variation of my brain. I am different, in a good way, in a great way. But let’s skip the humble-talk, let’s explore more about our variation and how to live with it.

Even though EBAV (also known as ADHD) is a neurological variation rather than a sickness that needs to be medicated, unfortunately, we live in a world where every structure is built upon the needs of neurotypical people. That necessarily is not an evil thing, it just means that the needs of today’s society are different from the time when people like us were essential. It’s like a factory that once made a certain type of product to meet society’s needs, then shifted to a new model, without stopping the production of the old ones. Now, the old models still exist but feel outdated and forgotten. There is no demand for those products anymore, but they exist and they feel alone and deserted. This brings us to the discussion of adaptation.

Our survival skills were not needed as much in today’s world, so what did we do? We started to adapt. We had to find ways to match the new world around us; however difficult and draining, we did it, to survive.

In today’s post, I’m going to introduce some of the adaptive measures that I have taken involuntarily throughout my whole life, with the purpose that it would help those who have EBAV and are new to their traits.

First, I want you to stop feeling like you have some disease, some disorder. This is in no way something out of order, nothing in evolution was created out of lack of order, it was in fact created to maintain a certain order and guarantee survival. Our focus is not scattered, it is broad and divided between many things at the same time. Our stress and anxiety are not a measure of our broken personality, it is in fact a response to lack of imminent danger which we are exceptional at handling. And our impulsivity is not something to be blamed as it was shaped to react quickly to immediate danger. We are the product of our environment and in no way, shape, or form are we damaged.

Now without further ado, let's get into this question: How to adapt with ADHD (EBAV) to the world around us?

1. Try Harder

I know how this sounds, but bear with me. Let's go a little back, to when I was just a child. Back then I didn't even know there was something called ADHD let alone be diagnosed or rename it myself! I was struggling and I didn't even know it. I was a smart kid and had good grades and was top of my class, but I think if it wasn't for the society that I was raised in or my parents, I wouldn't have been able to grow adaptive measures. In my country, competition is highly encouraged, especially in education. Children from a young age are encouraged or shall I say punished (not always physically) to get good grades and exceed expectations. So in order to keep my parents and the teacher happy, I put extra effort to be the best in class. That's the number one adaptive measure if you as a person with ADHD (EBAV) want to get noticed, you have to try 10-fold. Even though this method was draining me, in reality, it helped me achieve so much, even much more than my neurotypicals peers got to have.

2. Record the verbal instructions

Later when I was accepted into university, I was noticing that I could not stop zoning out during a lecture or any type of class with verbal instructions. This actually cost me a lot! I was losing grades and university wasn't like school, it was much more difficult and you couldn't wait until the deadline of the exam to hit your hyper-fixation and expect to get a good grade. So I had to fail some courses and learn it the hard way.

Now what did I do to adapt? I started recording my professors' voices while teaching. Even though in the class my brain wouldn't pick anything, later on, in a much more calm environment, I could listen to the recordings, write transcripts, and study them. I got a 20/20 from the first course that I did this with. This is from a time when I didn't know what ADHD was. P.S. Don't forget to ask for permission from the person whose voice you're recording.

3. Write that down!

This one does not belong to an exact date or time, but to my whole adult life, from the time that I got to make my own appointments at the doctor's office, meet friends, or be somewhere at a specific time. I soon realized the hard way that I tend to forget my appointments. It goes so far back in my mind that even microscopes can't find them. Imagine the sheer panic when you have an important exam/appointment and when the time comes you're casually sitting on your couch chilling, then you get a call that says where the heck are you? I don't think the panic is comparable with anything! So what I did was write down my appointments/meetings/affairs the moment I set them. If I get a doctor's appointment at 12:05:30, I will be writing it on a huge whiteboard/calendar or more conveniently make a reminder on my phone at 12:05:31! Not one second later, and I create a "tell me one day earlier" notice so I don't make new plans. I still have issues with procrastinating though, I'm working on this one still.

4. Break it into pieces

One of the most annoying traits of ADHD (EBAV) must be "Starting tasks"! I cannot express how much I hate myself when I procrastinate on one simple task and worry about it for days, weeks, even months! Until I do it and realize it was so stupid and not worth the pressure. Even though I now know that this is not my fault, I catch myself shaming and criticizing myself constantly in my head. I tried every planner, I have 10 different types of them, wall planner, weekly planner, monthly planner, notebook planner, almost all have not worked. But don't worry, I'm gonna teach you the methods that have helped me, even though it might not work 100% of the time and maybe 50%. But hey, 50 is still better than 0, right?

In order for you to be able to start a task, you would have to break it down as much as possible. Make it so small that it becomes stupid. For instance, if you have to study a 30-page chapter of a book in two weeks and you keep procrastinating, just read 1 page today, yes just one page, and then get up and do whatever you want. For the next day, do the exact same, study one page and while you’re at it, study another one, then get up and do whatever you want. The next day do 3. By day 4, you’ll already start to feel your hyper-fixation kicking in, when that comes, don’t let go, keep feeding your hyper-fixation until you’re done. You’d probably have some burnout at the end of it, but look at the bright side, you’ve done your task!

5. Plan Ahead

The closer I get to a trip or even an appointment coming up, the more the shear panic kicks in. I'm sure that if you have ADHD/EBAV, you've felt super disoriented and overwhelmed around the time that you wanna take a trip, but it all calms down when you're actually in the trip. This is something called Anticipatory Anxiety(I cheated from ChatGPT) and it's the extreme anxiety and panic that you fall into before something that you've planned. In scientific terms the cause of this issue is called "Executive dysfunction". To put it simply, we shut down. But fear no threat, there is always a way. What you should do is to create a well curated plan beforehand, maybe a week before your trip, or the picnic, or the party you're organising. Be mathematical about it, write everything, from the type of the things you need to take with you or prepare, to the exact number of them. I would even go far enough to make an action plan. For instance, I write down what I should do step by step, welcome the guests, serve tea and cake, play some music, plan what game to play as an entertainment and when to exactly serve dinner. Be precise and predict everything. We have ADHD/EBAV, we are great at predicting. Use your powers to master limitations.

These are just a pinch of what ADHD/EBAV entails. ADHD is a complex variation and there are many aspects of it that need to be explored. What I talked about today was just a window or even a keyhole to the vast world of our variation and there is so much more to talk and understand about it in the future. In the upcoming posts i will try to share more about how I deal with my ADHD on the daily basis and before I leave you here, I want you to know that you are not alone and this condition/variation is tough to deal with. With some awareness and a bit of guidance, not only you can overcome the annoying traits of ADHD/EBAV but also you can utilise these traits that give us the edge that others lack.

See you in the next post!