ADHD and Focus: Why I Sometimes Can’t Write a Word

I hit a roadblock yesterday. I was trying to write a post about my current situation and its relevance to my long-term goal of "10 million in 10 years." I wanted to give an update about why I haven't been writing enough recently. But the problem was that the words just didn't come out of my head. I felt that my brain had hit a roadblock, writer's block as they say, and honestly, I have been thinking about it since yesterday. It got me worried that maybe there is something wrong with my brain (other than ADHD/EBAV).

Hi, I'm Saina and you're reading Sainaslife.

I do sometimes hit this block in my head. If I want to describe how I'm feeling, it's like my whole brain has turned into liquid, and nothing works in a liquid brain. Words and phrases aren't forming, creativity is off, and I get overwhelmed so easily and just want to jump to something else. This got me thinking that it might have to do with my ADHD and focus struggles, but not entirely. There are times when I write blog posts that even inspire me when I revisit them, and the words and phrases I use are very sophisticated and complex. But there are also other times when I feel like I have that liquid brain and nothing flows—no pun intended. The issue with that is I'm a writer, and if the words don't flow on their own, then I have nothing to write. That's why I got worried yesterday; I kind of panicked, wondering what if I could never write and this occurs more often. So, as always, I went to... you guessed it, ChatGPT!

Before getting into what ChatGPT said and what the final conclusion of our discussion was, I want to mention something. When I'm passionate about writing something, whether I'm inspired or disappointed by it, I can write a very deep blog post and pour my emotions into it. I write effortlessly, and it's like my hands are in complete control, writing on their own. That is how I wrote some of the posts like "I Don't Have a Condition, I Have a Variation" and "What Is This Blog About? My Blog Niche Journey". I tapped into my emotions and passions, and the content flourished.

The other times that I am not necessarily passionate about a topic, I just write disconnected paragraphs and sentences. Nothing makes sense in the end when I read the post before publishing it. It all seems out of touch and boring. I'm not a waiter; I don't wait for my problems to be solved or just sit around and watch them consume me. I always want to find a way to fix that problem, especially if that problem is about my career or passion.

These two completely different angles of mine were confusing me. On one side, I write amazing blog posts that even amaze myself, and on the other side, I write some posts that make me want to quit blogging. So I wondered, what could be the reason for this two-sided personality? I'm the same person that wrote those inspiring blog posts; how can I be the other one too?

What ChatGPT Helped Me Understand About ADHD and Focus

I discovered that this issue is, in fact, rooted in my ADHD. I suspected it, but I wasn't sure how to explain the connection. ChatGPT said that in order for the creativity and language parts of the brain to be activated and flow, there needs to be dopamine induced. Dopamine gives motivation, and motivation gives creativity, and that's where the problem lies. For neurotypical people, it might be a bit difficult to, for instance, write about something that they're not particularly passionate about, but for a person with ADHD, it's impossible. We already have lower levels of dopamine in our brains compared to neurotypicals, hence the lack of motivation increases significantly. No motivation, no blog post. But there's always a but. Since I talked about ADHD and it being a variation rather than a disorder in my "I Don't Have a Condition, I Have a Variation" post, I don't think or even believe that lacking something in an ADHD brain, means something is deleted, it means that it is misplaced.

Allow me to elaborate: In an ADHD brain, some parts of the brain are shrunken, and in contrast, some parts are enlarged. It is true that our frontal lobe is smaller or less productive than a normal brain, but other parts are more active than the normal brain. That led me to conclude, and fact-check with ChatGPT, that even though I will hit a roadblock that is much more difficult than what neurotypicals will, in comparison, I also write significantly better when I'm passionate and interested in a concept.

So even though there are, and there will be, hurdles in my path of writing, there will also be moments when I'm able to create something that will resonate deeply with my readers; words that they can relate to in a way that they never have before.

And I believe the reason that I'm not writing as much as I should right now is that I am in a limbo state and I don't have much to write about my journey because it hasn't officially started yet. In my other blog post that I was talking about above, I will address this in more detail and kind of justify my lack of action. In hope that it persuades you to remain patient until my journey starts.

See you in the next post!