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I'm back!

What a month I had since I wasn't here!

Hello and welcome back to Sainaslife. Not gonna lie, I am here to nag a little bit, I've got Covid, again! and this is the worst time to be sick for me. I had a quick trip to Istanbul, kinda like a business/leisure trip, and all I got from that aside from a cat scratch (which was 100% my own fault), was that I brought home a new strain of covid with me:). The trip was so draining, hours of waiting for the airplane to call for the gate, connections, buses, delays. To be honest I used to like travelling with airplanes, but now I think the quality of airlines has declined so bad and staff are so underpaid, that it's not really worth it to go on a trip with them.


Okay, let's get back to me and my usual problems. I don't remember when was the last time I wrote for you guys, but man, it's been long! I have been busy dealing with my ADHD, procrastination, and of course, sitting here doing nothing and bashing myself over it.


I think I have some kind of depression. I wanna be honest here and say that a huge chunk of my depression comes from Estonia and in general Europe. The weather is horrible and people never want to be friends with you (foreigners in particular). The general mood is about horrible food and alcohol surrounded weekends. As if everyone is a freaking robot, they just eat, shit, sleep, repeat. So naturally a person like me, who wants more of life than surviving, will eventually get depressed. oh, and let's not forget, I'm unemployed, and getting a job is almost impossible here if you don't know the language. Of course, even if you do, racism comes into play and you'll be at the end of their list until they absolutely need you. So my plan is to get out of here as fast as I can, but also depression and ADHD are really making it difficult for me. That's why I haven't been writing for a while.


From today, I wanna try to be a bit more positive, by not watching stupid news anymore, caring about myself before anyone else, and reminding myself that it is not my fault, it's everybody else's:).


It was good venting with you guys, I hope at least you have a great day.


Your bestie,

Saina

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